My primary style of conflict management is often identified as a collaborator. It is a style I developed in a couple of decades of work experience and general life experience. This is a style that balances both assertiveness and cooperation. This "I win, you win" general approach takes more time and relies on trust and clear communication. Not every situation calls for this style and not everyone has it as their primary style.

If you or your company has access to one of the validated instruments such as the Thomas-Kilman Conflict Mode Instrument, the Rahim Organizational Conflict Inventory, or the Emotional Intelligence Test, it would be worth the time of about 30 minutes to more fully assess your conflict dominant tendency.

Over the years starting with Blake and Mouton in 1964, various studies have analyzed a popular five-style approach to conflict. Then in the 1970s Thomas and Kilman reinterpreted this initial work. Today, this...